This past Sunday was a day! Not the worst of days but far from the best of days. It started off strong, like my coffee should have been. My husband and I had recently looked at a home we were considering purchasing the day before and I was excited to drive by the home to do some extra ‘research.’ My mission was to be sneaky and check out the neighborhood, the neighbors and just try to get a better overall vibe for the area.

Following my very important recon work, I was actually making the time (and had the time) to go to the gym! It was looking like it was going to be a great Sunday. Only thing that would have made it better would have been a little Bed, Bath & Beyond or Home Depot (that reference is for my husband or any other Old School fans😉).

Following my work as a secret agent and feeling far from law-enforcement-fit in the gym, I headed home as my parents were on their way to visit. My dad was a contractor his whole career, so we value his opinion on pretty much anything construction related. We asked him to come take a look at the potential new home to get his perspective. We knew that it would require some genuine TLC!

My husband and dad spent close to an hour checking everything out (that poor real estate agent). When they returned, we started to discuss the DIY roster. Now by this point, I can anticipate you’re thinking ok, what’s so awful about your day?

Here’s where everything takes a turn, as a family we go for a walk (with the kiddies). It’s thick, humid air but my daughter is literally bouncing off the walls of our condo so we needed to get out and work out some of that never-ending child energy (can I please have some, a droplet would be nice).

As we were walking, one of us tripped and fell, hard. Luckily no broken bones but it hurt. Of course, this is where, in rushing (never does anyone good – check earlier post, Rushing to Rush), to get going I forgot my cell phone and keys. It was a good trek back home and walking that far now wasn’t the best plan, so I ran back (really could have used some of Andre De Grasse’s talent here) to grab the car and pick everyone up. By the way, I would not recommend running in flip flops and jeans in 35 degree C (with humidex) weather…

Regardless, I make it to the car and head over to pick them up. As we make our way back I’m flustered, upset, worried – I scratch the car. It makes it even worse as it’s not my car, it’s my parents. Luckily, I have great parents that were supportive and understanding (who may read this, so again, I am sorry!) 😊 Kids will be kids; I’ll have to work on remembering that down the road.

Between the emotions of potentially making the largest purchase of our life, an injured family member and auto damage all the while dealing with a whiny, teething 1 year old and endless energetic 7-year-old; my nerves were kind of shot. After my parents headed home and the kids were in bed, I poured a shall we say ‘nice sized’ glass of wine and watched the sunset on my balcony. All the while enjoying some cherries and grape tomatoes from my mini garden. Yes, a totally random snack that just made sense in the moment.

In those quiet moments, I regained my calm. As I thought about the day, all I could think of was Wish4Bliss my a**… and laughed to myself. It’s so hard to stay calm under pressure. Of course, there’s various causes for pressure that can often lead to different responses. I know there are situations where I am quite strong under pressure but I’ve also learned when it comes to the well-being of a loved one, I don’t remain as calm as I like to. My worry and emotions can sometimes take the lead. So, it really wasn’t my best work on the patient and calm spheres however the kindness one, I believe I’m still good there 33.33% today. Makes me think about something Brené Brown talks about. I forget her specific language around describing it but essentially her and her husband developed a system for being open about their coping ability each day and in the moment. For example, she might say that she’s only at a 20 today and he might be a 60 (out of 100) so they work together to make the difference and the one whose operating higher will dig a little deeper to help the other. Personally, I think this is such a great approach as you’re being open and honest as to what you are able to give in that moment. As well as, it’s a partnership to manage the load together (this could also be used with other family or friends, doesn’t have to be a spouse). My husband and I don’t use the # (though might be something to consider) but we do try to be observant and help each other when struggling. He saw me, he told me to eat and go relax and he’ll do the rest. So, thanks sweetie, that helped.

I’m not oblivious to the fact that this is far from possible worst life scenarios (as noted above) and that there’s a degree of privilege, but I’m sharing as it was a stressful day when the original intention was to have a pleasurable one. As I reflect, I should have stopped earlier and more consistently to work to gather myself versus continue on autopilot. For me, it really is about setting an intention each day to manage my stress and output. It takes a significant amount of work and energy to stay tuned in to that but when I do, my days are exponentially more powerful.

Oh and that house we were considering, well we aren’t quite sure if it will work out just yet. Stay tuned,  but regardless I’m positive we will eventually find our new piece of paradise.

Working on being patient, calm and kind.